A puzzle from the past

I came across this picture and it made me smile as I am feeling down. I thought I'd share it with the world... This old Danish lady lived on the same street as I was when I was younger. Even the dog is posing and I'm just interest in watching the dog only hehe :-)

Time is running ahead of the thoughts. When turning around there is only pure darkness, a little ray can be seen ahead. I walk closer, the sun is peeking through the heavy clouds. I raise my arm to get a feel of the warmth from the sun in this very cold and dull fall weather. I felt it, but when the sun was setting I only felt the rain. The drops fell on my forehead, rinsing my thoughts, my life, my soul and the dark feelings inside. A slight pain could be felt when the rain was heavier and the screams inside were louder. I tried to stop the sounds from being so loud but the thoughts were screaming louder and louder to the point where everything turns black and the existence is not even existing anymore...

Shorter days, longer nights

08/08/12  - first day of taking the first step towards healing thoughts...

... It's summer and it should be the opposite way around but for me I just wish time would go faster so that I can feel better. Had another rough night with no sleep. I wish I could sleep peacefully but I have so many thoughts that keeps waking me up. Decided to stay at home today, the pain was just too much for me to handle. I hate the way things have turned into but perhaps it's all for the better...at least not for now as the pain is unbearable and I wish I could go back in time. Life's tough!

I'll wait for you........

Such a special song... going back to memories <3 somethings certain things are just for the better!

Sleeping with a broken heart

How I know this too well by now...

Numb

Feeling a tiny bit numb and empty...and sort of sad. I don't really like my job that much, and I have so many decisions to make before it is too late. I am not entirely sure if I have everything in my life to be complete or if I am making a big mistake. Once you made your decisions it is hard to rewind back without breaking hearts and I am not really capable of that. I wish I could just run away so my head feels a bit lighter than it is now... I guess there will be a day when I think back to this and wonder if I really made the right decisions so far...

Sometimes you feel you have everything right underneath the palm of your hand... and the next thing you know is that you are forced to drown them all. I chose to drop everything... haven't drowned yet although the pain is unbearable. My soul is just fine...just fine on its own.

Another thoughtful tornado

I haven't been blogging for a while. I have now the energy to start again. You just have those days when you don't really want to write. You collect the energy to let your fingers type the way they want to. I am on a sick leave so I have been having plenty of rest and smoothly recovering.

Sometimes you think you have very close friends, best friends and just casual friends that you say hi & bye to. Some friends are there fore you help you with advice and you are there for them too. How come when I was ill I didn't have any of my friends checking on me. Made me very sad and hurt. I was literally in bed with so much pain that I have never had before and my family was checking up on me. I got two besties. One lives close by, didn't even bother to check up on me. Why is it even bothering me? Am I expecting too much from a friend whom I've treated like my own sister? My other friend is a friend who is away from me, understands my feelings, we fit so well together. We don't talk on a regular basis but when I need him he is there for me. He went on holidays and when hearing about my situation he made his close friend bring me food. It made shed tears...I had so much pain that I couldn't even get up. No one bothered to check on me. I am fine being on my own and I never experienced something like this before but in such situations you just learn about the ones around you. Even though you won't see this message my dear friend my heart wants to tell you that you are one of the very few friend I keep close to me. I hate you at times but you know me so well. Thank you, K.

Now it's time for me to clean up the list of friends I have!